Moving a parent to senior living: a guide for families
Moving into a senior living community is a big change for the person and for the family. This guide covers planning the move, choosing what to bring, moving day and the first weeks after.
General information only. This guide is not medical, legal or financial advice. Talk with a physician, and with an elder-law or financial professional where money or legal papers are involved, about your own situation.
Planning the move
Visit several communities, at different times of day and including a mealtime. Ask about room availability and cost, and whether Medicare or Medicaid is accepted.
Some families join a waiting list before they are ready to decide. Ask what situations could lead to a resident being asked to leave.
Deciding what to bring
Most people move into a smaller space, so not everything can come along. Familiar things can help a new room feel like home. Ask the community:
- Can residents bring their own furniture, such as a favorite chair?
- Are photos, bedding and other personal items welcome?
- What is already provided in the room?
On moving day
Moving is stressful for everyone, and it often takes time to settle. Getting to know the staff before the move can make the day go more smoothly.
- Meet staff ahead of time and talk about how to ease the move.
- Share the person's routines and preferences with staff.
- Listen to the person's worries without arguing about why they are moving.
Helping the person settle in
Once the person has moved, check in often to see how they are doing. Watch for signs they may need more attention or care.
- Build a working relationship with staff.
- Speak up for the person's needs and preferences.
- Attend care meetings when they are held.
- Get support for yourself, too, such as from a social worker or counselor.
Frequently asked questions
It varies from person to person. A change of setting can bring short-term changes, such as poor sleep, more confusion or a change in appetite. Ask staff how they help new residents through this.
Feelings of guilt, loss or even relief are common. Talking with a social worker, a counselor or a caregiver support group can help.
Raise it with the staff first. If a concern is not resolved, the long-term care ombudsman program can help residents and families with their rights.
Sources
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